I recently listened to an interview with Jeff Barson, a successful artist who later became an even more successful entrepreneur.  One of his key insights is his take on the persistence required to be successful.  He says everyone has grand ideas about what it’s like to be an artist.  They dream of going to gallery openings, wearing a beret and being famous. But few people want to actually do the art, to sit in a room alone at midnight painting.

This brings to mind my college days.  I was a fair artist at pencil drawing and charcoal.  I loved my drawing classes and actually enjoyed the practice work and assignments.  But when I got into new territory – watercolor, 3D design, ceramics – it was not so much fun anymore.  I had to force myself to do the work.  Words became easier to manipulate than clay.   As an art history major I discovered the joy of staring at art and writing about it instead.

I think the blood sweat and tears required of great art is even more apparent for musicians.  While we clap and marvel at the talent of the concert pianist, we never think of the hundreds of hours spent alone in a practice room.

Ethan Rouse, who Troy and I have known since he was a sixth grader going through confirmation at our church, is an amazing musician. He’s had full scholarship offers from several universities.  While his primary instrument is viola he can play just about anything.  At the recent downtown culture crawl, he played percussion with Troy’s band.  At one point he was tapping out the beat on a cardboard box. I jokingly said to his mom that they didn’t need to buy him a viola, just give him a box.  Her reply, “but a box wouldn’t get him to college.”

Since I read Claire Burge’s photoplay post encouraging photographers to experiment with taking photos “staring at the sun” the song by the same name has kept running through my mind. (lyrics below)

After several weeks I finally took up the challenge. Today driving past Fain Presbyterian church I noticed how bright the sun was and took some time to snap some pictures with my digital camera.

I’ve always loved the random design created when looking up at tree limbs so I started there.

Then I ventured out from underneath the protection of the branches. Not a cloud in the sky. I pointed my camera up toward the sun, attempting to frame elements of the trees and church.

I could barely see anything for the blinding light. I snapped haphazardly thinking I’d see what the pictures looked like later. Quickly this became quite painful. Nearly an hour later, my eyes were still stinging.

This is how it feels when I’m facing a overwhelming problem.  I stare at it, thinking, concentrating, questioning… how can I change the situation? How can I solve it?  What is the right way?  Similar to the way I was photographing blind, in this desperate state I throw anything at the problem.

Now I finally see. Answers can’t come when I’m staring at the sun.  It’s only by closing my eyes and releasing that an answer can come.

Staring at the Sun ~ U2

Summer stretching on the grass… summer dresses pass
in the shade of a willow tree creeps a crawling over me
over me and over you stuck together with God’s glue
it’s going to get stickier too…
it’s been a long hot summer
let’s get undercover
don’t try too hard to think… don’t think at all

I’m not the only one starin’ at the sun
afraid of what you’d find if you took a look inside
not just deaf and dumb I’m staring at the sun
not the only one who’s happy to go blind

there’s an insect in your ear if you scratch it won’t disappear
it’s gonna itch and burn and sting
do you want to see what the scratching brings
waves that leave me out of reach
breaking on your back like a beach
will we ever live in peace?
’cause those that can’t do often have to
those that can’t do often have to… preach

to the ones staring at the sun…
afraid of what you’ll find if you took a look inside
not just deaf and dumb… staring at the sun
I’m not the only one who’d rather go blind

intransigence is all around… military still in town
armour plated suits and ties… daddy just won’t say goodbye
referee won’t flow the whistle God is good but will HE listen
I’m nearly great
but there’s something I’m missing I left in the duty free
though you never really belonged to me

you’re not the only one starin’ at the sun
afraid of what you’d find if you stepped back inside
I’m not sucking my thumb I’m staring at the sun
not the only one who’s happy to go blind