Guiding Vision

Since I read Claire Burge’s photoplay post encouraging photographers to experiment with taking photos “staring at the sun” the song by the same name has kept running through my mind. (lyrics below)

After several weeks I finally took up the challenge. Today driving past Fain Presbyterian church I noticed how bright the sun was and took some time to snap some pictures with my digital camera.

I’ve always loved the random design created when looking up at tree limbs so I started there.

Then I ventured out from underneath the protection of the branches. Not a cloud in the sky. I pointed my camera up toward the sun, attempting to frame elements of the trees and church.

I could barely see anything for the blinding light. I snapped haphazardly thinking I’d see what the pictures looked like later. Quickly this became quite painful. Nearly an hour later, my eyes were still stinging.

This is how it feels when I’m facing a overwhelming problem.  I stare at it, thinking, concentrating, questioning… how can I change the situation? How can I solve it?  What is the right way?  Similar to the way I was photographing blind, in this desperate state I throw anything at the problem.

Now I finally see. Answers can’t come when I’m staring at the sun.  It’s only by closing my eyes and releasing that an answer can come.

Staring at the Sun ~ U2

Summer stretching on the grass… summer dresses pass
in the shade of a willow tree creeps a crawling over me
over me and over you stuck together with God’s glue
it’s going to get stickier too…
it’s been a long hot summer
let’s get undercover
don’t try too hard to think… don’t think at all

I’m not the only one starin’ at the sun
afraid of what you’d find if you took a look inside
not just deaf and dumb I’m staring at the sun
not the only one who’s happy to go blind

there’s an insect in your ear if you scratch it won’t disappear
it’s gonna itch and burn and sting
do you want to see what the scratching brings
waves that leave me out of reach
breaking on your back like a beach
will we ever live in peace?
’cause those that can’t do often have to
those that can’t do often have to… preach

to the ones staring at the sun…
afraid of what you’ll find if you took a look inside
not just deaf and dumb… staring at the sun
I’m not the only one who’d rather go blind

intransigence is all around… military still in town
armour plated suits and ties… daddy just won’t say goodbye
referee won’t flow the whistle God is good but will HE listen
I’m nearly great
but there’s something I’m missing I left in the duty free
though you never really belonged to me

you’re not the only one starin’ at the sun
afraid of what you’d find if you stepped back inside
I’m not sucking my thumb I’m staring at the sun
not the only one who’s happy to go blind

I was talking with a friend on Tuesday about a new business venture I’m considering.  Sensing my passion for the idea yet considerable hesitation, she said…

What’s holding you back? What are you afraid of?

Wise words… I’m still pondering the reasons for my apprehension.  I’m also now thinking of solutions and ways to overcome.

Ever get distracted by competing interests, multiple projects and demands on your time?

When you are dreading going to work, Karl Edwards says:

Give yourself the gift of focus. Take one thing at a time. If everything is overwhelming you, then select something…I am suggesting focus as a line of action. One thing. Catch up on your email. Clean your desk. Finish a proposal. Fix the broken machine.

Fredia Woolf shows us how to focus on our strengths:

The trick to getting ourselves and others to focus on strengths and on what is going well is knowing how to ask the right questions.  So, if you are in a job search, instead of berating yourself with the question, “Why haven’t I yet found a job? What’s wrong with me?” you would instead ask, “How did Joe find his new position? What can I learn from him?” or “What could I do differently that will help me get a better result?”

Bradley J. Moore asks: Is There A Better Version of You Out There Somewhere?

Are your decisions based on what you might lose, or what you might gain? Sometimes we are better off cutting loose from something good in order to achieve something better. It’s risky, sure, and inevitably involves greater sacrifice and effort. But it may be the only way to find out what we are meant for.

For me I’ve found that first choosing the right projects from the start is real important.  As Bradley says, sometimes you just have to say no to something so you can say yes to something else.

On a practical day-to-day level, I recently started using a time tracking software called Freshbooks.  It allows me to use a live time tracker so I know how much time I am spending on each project.  I use it for my clients as well as some of my own projects.  It definitely keeps me focused on the task at hand rather than getting disctracted.  I have heard others say they use a simple kitchen timer to help stay on track.

How do you find focus in your work?  What benefits have you found by finding the right focus, on the right things?

I recently wrote a few thoughts about meaningful work where in the comments section the topic of pay was addressed.  When searching for a new job the salary is one of the most important details.  So why do some employers omit the salary from job postings, instead requiring you to provide your salary requirements?

Pay ranges may be standardized at corporations and fairly consistent for the same job type at different companies.  So providing your “salary requirements” may be somewhat easier when applying for corporate jobs. Unfortunately in the nonprofit sector the pay scale is often not up to the standards of the business world.

So what is a job applicant to do? Decide on what you are “worth” and stick to it, or accept lower pay depending on the position?

Kerry Hannon says that for women “lower pay is not a deal-breaker. Realistically, many back-to-work  moms have a partner’s income to help cushion a change to the nonprofit field and can more readily cope with the inevitable pay cut that may mean at least initially.”

There are two inherent gender biases in this statement that I have to take issue with.  First the generalization that all women have partners that are the “breadwinners” and secondly that women should accept lower pay when circumstances allow.  Accepting that nonprofits pay less and “that’s just the way it is” enables this inequality to continue.

Working day in and day out in a job that you love, but that doesn’t pay the bills, would be a major source of stress. Further it could contribute to burnout, which is already high in the nonprofit sector. Laura Gassner Otting stated and Elisa M. Ortiz illustrated the issue of burnout in their posts featured in last month’s Nonprofit Blog Carnival.

Beyond the personal and gender implications, Dan Pollottas asserts in his book Uncharitable that pay inequality is one of the major issues that hurts the effectiveness of nonprofit organizations individually and the sector as a whole.

To be frank, there have been several times where I have accepted lower pay because of other benefits provided.  I’ve worked temp jobs which offer no job security or benefits, as a stop-gap income during career transitions.  However, when looking for a long term, permanent position concessions on pay are difficult to make.

After about six months of job hunting I’m starting to think Tim Berry is right: entrepreneurs are unemployable.  In many respects I’d much rather work for myself.  Flexible schedule, I call the shots. More risk but more possible reward.

Wait… those are all great benefits. But what is my greatest desire?  I want to do work that is meaningful.

That’s why I’m so glad to have found a (very) part-time gig doing web editing for LLYC. (I talked about that in yesterday’s post).

Finding meaningful work could be on my own, with a corporation or nonprofit.  It doesn’t matter the entity. That is why as I’ve looked at job openings I’ve not limited myself to any one particular type of organization or industry.

But what does meaningful work mean to me? It’s something that is…

• Intellectually stimulating: I love thinking and talking about ideas, trying new things, work is like a puzzle to me
• Goal oriented: I love a challenge!
• A company/industry that operates with ethics and integrity: toward its customers, employees, the environment
• Makes the world a better place: this can take many forms

It also has to be a good fit.  Often there’s this indefinable quality that can make a position either a great fit or one to scratch off the list.  I applied for a job several months ago that hit all of the above qualities on paper.  But when I interviewed, I just didn’t click with the people I’d be working with.  I was left with a very different impression than I expected.  My instincts were right; I didn’t even get the courtesy of a return to my follow up calls or form letter rejection from them.

So what is meaningful work for you?