As I read the latest post from Pilgrim I was at my desk mindlessly consuming quasi-Mexican food from Taco Bell, washing it down with a large Pepsi. And I don’t even like Pepsi – I’m a Coke drinker! Oh how I could relate to what he was saying about the struggle with food.
I have not been particularly healthy with food and eating in my life. It’s been a little secret of mine, this bad eating. I have a tendency to see every meal as an opportunity for pleasure and escape. Lunchtime comes and I say, “Hmm, what do I most want to eat right now?” Then I go and get that food, whatever it is. I also tend to eat compulsively, cramming cheetoes or some other horrible processed food into my mouth in a ridiculous attempt to silence a demon or deal with my anxiety. And even when the food has lost its taste and clearly is making me feel worse and not better, I keep eating.
Like so many people I have a very fickle commitment to eating healthy. Rationally I know I need to eat healthy. I’m an ardent proponent of the real food movement, tell all my friends to watch Fast Food Nation and Super Size Me. In daily life, it is such a struggle. As a long time IBS sufferer, the wrong foods are seriously my mortal enemy. Yet I continue to give in to impulse.
I was thankful for the humble and encouraging way this post concluded: “I don’t have to become perfectly well with eating and food right now. I just have to peel back a little dead tissue, find something alive and well on the inside, and make one small move toward health and goodness.” – Pilgrim
At my next meal, I’ll have the opportunity to make a better choice.
